I need one of these little things from Spoon Sisters. Though I am not PMS'ing, I feel pretty bitchy right now. Things are just kinda sucky sometimes....and today is one of those sometimes! Have you ever had one of those skeletons in your closet come out, totally unexpected, and smack you broad side in the head? Today was one of those times for me. I felt the pain in my head and heart instantly like it were THAT very moment, the moment that my heart was ripped out of my body and stomped on the ground by a million pairs of golf shoes, it was on a cold day, November 24th, in 2003 at exactly 4:06 PST.
But in that moment of pain I felt this afternoon, I also felt happiness, because I saw HER, I finally saw her! My sweet Emma - as she is today. So beautiful and sweet and happy in all her 4 year old beauty. Today we got a picture of her in the mail. And all I can think about is how much I love her and miss her - and just how beautiful and sweet she looks! I thought I had healed from that, but I think a part of my heart will always be empty and sore when I think of her.
That's all for today folks. I'm exhausted.
Oh Sweetie - I give you a big big hug!!!! LOve!!!
ReplyDeleteOh Cat.. it's times like these.. that I wish you werent so far away. Wish I could come pick you up and just drive and chat, or go for coffee, cry or laugh..whatever you need most. Sending you the hugest hug ever friend.
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